this is a personal story of  growing up without male role models. About figuring out what it means to be a man. Not from watching. From reacting.

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For a long time, I understood masculinity as protection.

Guard up. Stay ready. Don’t soften. That instinct carried me far.

 

I became a professional fighter. Sixteen years built on discipline, control, and defence.

But the same armour that made me strong, also made me distant.

 

There’s a phrase I’ve had to repeat to myself for most of my life:

soften your armour.

 

It’s a warning. A reminder that my guard is up when it doesn’t need to be.

That I might respond with distance instead of presence.

 

Because fighting teaches you to protect yourself. But fatherhood asks something else. It asks you to stay. To be open.

To be there. Even when you don’t have the answer.

 

That’s the tension I live in. To harden and soften at the same time.

As a boy, I chose hardness. It felt safer.

As a father, I don’t have that option anymore.

 

soft armour is about that shift.

Not becoming perfect.

But choosing to be present.

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Vincent Alexander Vaseur 

founder of soft armour and VALEXANDRE